


the trouble with cherries

by Frenchibi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College AU, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Swearing, awkward confessions, but I liked it and I ran with it so xD, literally a random thing I whipped up in 3 hours based on a prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 18:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14857652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchibi/pseuds/Frenchibi
Summary: The trouble with cherries is that they're too small for the amount of seed that they carry. Why would something so delicious limit itself to such an inconvenient form? It's almost like they don't want to be eaten.…well, maybe that's the point.To be honest, Tooru has been wondering this about Hajime as well.





	the trouble with cherries

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ricekrispyjoints](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ricekrispyjoints/gifts).



> Thank you to my man Dmitri for this prompt, it made my day :D

The trouble with cherries is that they're too small for the amount of seed that they carry. Why would something so delicious limit itself to such an inconvenient form? It's almost like they don't want to be eaten.

…well, maybe that's the point.

To be honest, Tooru has been wondering this about Hajime as well.

He flicks a seed into his napkin and bites his lip.

Not about Hajime wanting to be  _ eaten, _ per se (though maybe he has thought about that, in a figurative sense. Once. Okay, maybe more than once. Not the point), but about him connecting with people.

It's not that he can't make friends. He does. But it's like he puts up a barrier that doesn't let anyone get too close.

Or, well, what does Tooru even know. Maybe he does let people close now. New people. People Tooru only knows because Hajime casually mentions their names over takeout dinner, or when he's telling Tooru where he's going. Like Tooru's supposed to know who they all are.

Well, he used to. Back when they shared a back yard, a classroom, a volleyball team. A group of friends.

Of course things were going to change eventually. Tooru knows this. But that doesn't change that he's bitter about it.

He plucks another cherry from the bowl that Hajime's placed on the coffee table and proceeds to pry it apart with his fingernails. It comes open pretty easily, revealing red flesh and another oversized pit. Rude, really, that something so wasteful is so expensive.

He'll have to thank Hajime for buying them, though. He knows Tooru's always loved them.

And that's it, isn't it? Hajime always knows. He listens, he's attentive, he remembers.

But about himself, he's strangely closed off.

Sometimes Tooru wishes he could read his mind - but then he's always somewhat glad that he can't. Because really, he's terrified of what he'd see.

What if Hajime isn't putting on a show of disdain around Tooru when his antics get out of control - what if that's really how he feels?

What if it's not that deep, what if Hajime just really isn't into making deeper connections? Or maybe he just hasn't found the right person to do it with?

That thought makes Tooru want to smash something, honestly, because anyone with eyes could see that he and Hajime are a perfect match. If Hajime can't talk to him, who else even is there?

…the answer to that question comes kind of unbidden and way too suddenly.

Of course there's a girl out there that can crack open Hajime's metaphorical shell.

Maybe he's not a cherry, maybe he's a coconut.

Maybe Tooru doesn't know where he's going with this analogy.

In any case, he doesn't want to think about Hajime opening up to someone else. Obviously he has other friends - he's always had other friends, and it's never been a problem, because…

Well, because Tooru has always had a special position among those friends.

For a long time, being able to call Hajime his Best Friend had been enough.

Nowadays though?

Tooru picks up another cherry, this time popping it into his mouth immediately and pulling it apart with his tongue.

Not so much.

He's come to realize that he's not as nice a person as he wants to be.

Okay, that's a lie. Tooru has never been a particularly nice person. But he considered himself a decent friend, and not exactly a bad person. Vindictive, yeah. Possessive, sure. But he's also always just wanted Hajime to smile.

So, if someone did come along to whisk Hajime off into a world of sunshine and rainbows, and if that someone couldn't be Tooru…

He wants to say that he'd smile and let it go.

But honestly, he's not so sure.

The thought alone leaves him restless and unsettled, so much so that he gets up from where he's been lounging on the couch.

He sighs, chewing around on the pit. A reckless part of his brain urges him to swallow it, but he ignores the thought and spits it out.

Because… that's life, isn't it? Ignoring the random, reckless ideas taking root in your brain and just trying to keep living.

It'd be crazy, if he just got up, walked over to Hajime's room and told him that  _ hey, I've been in love with you since middle school. _

He could do it. He could do it right now. What a fucking stupid idea.

Or…

Or maybe it isn't so stupid.

What's the worst that could happen?

Hajime could be disgusted.

…but he wouldn't. They've been friends for their entire lives. Something like this wouldn't ruin it, right? Right?

Bullshit. Hajime will laugh at him, or leave, or take it as a joke - and Tooru is sure he can't take that.

…on the other hand… at this rate, Hajime might just leave anyway. With whatever girl (or guy?) he's seeing that Tooru doesn't know about.

No, wait. He would have said something if he was dating someone. Surely.

Somehow, that question requires an immediate answer, and Tooru is already walking. Well, shit.

Before he can stop himself, he's knocked on Hajime's door.

"Yeah?"

Oh, shit.

He pushes the door open a crack, to find Hajime sitting at his desk, spun around in his chair to look over at him.

"What's up?" he asks, eyebrows slightly raised. "Have you thought about what to have for dinner, or…?"

"Uhm."

The question throws him a little, and Hajime frowns.

"What's wrong?"

How does he immediately get that? Is Tooru really that easy to read…?

"Say, Iwa-chan… if you had a girlfriend, you'd tell me, right?"

Hajime blinks - and then he barks out a laugh.

"What on earth makes you ask that?"

Immediately, Tooru's on the defensive.

"Nothing! Just- you don't talk about yourself much. But… we're best friends, right? You'd tell me?"

Hajime gets up out of his chair and walks over to him, his expression torn between bemused and concerned.

"…what's going on, Oikawa?"

"Just answer the question!"

Hajime shakes his head. "I don't have a girlfriend. Of course I'd tell you if I did. Why are you so stressed out all of a sudden?"

Tooru finds himself already backing out of the room again, mentally slapping himself for even opening the door in this stupid state of mind.

"Okay," he says, like that's all he wanted - but Hajime grabs him by the arm to stop him from walking away.

"Hey. You're acting weird. Talk to me."

"The cherries," Tooru says. "Thanks for, uhm. For buying them."

Hajime tilts his head slightly. "What? Oh, yeah. Sure." He lets go of Tooru's arm, but he still looks concerned. "Are you sure everything's okay?"

In retrospect, he doesn't know what makes him do it.

Maybe it's the loss of warmth when Hajime unclasps his hand, or the look of confusion and honest concern in his eyes, or the fact that from here Tooru can smell the deodorant Hajime always uses and it's kind of fucking with his brain-

In any case, before he quite knows why, he finds himself saying: "What if you had a boyfriend?"

Hajime stares.

"What?"

Tooru clears his throat. "Uhm. If- if you had a boyfriend, would you tell me, too?"

Hajime exhales, and Tooru can't place the expression on his face.

"…why wouldn't I? It's like you said. You're my best friend."

When Tooru doesn't reply, he pushes the door open further and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

"…are you gonna tell me what this is really about?"

Something about that question really hits home.

_ Are you going to tell me what this is really about? _

_ Are you ever going to tell me the truth? _

It's kind of like an earth-shattering realization, that that's even a question that Hajime could ask-

But he could. And Tooru's honest answer would have to be…

_ No. _

_ No, because I haven't told you the truth since grade 5. _

_ I haven't lied to you, I couldn't - but I've done something just as bad. _

_ I'm keeping a secret. _

_ I can't tell you, but- _

_ Maybe I'll need you to know. _

In that moment, with that thought, suddenly his mind is clearer than it's been in a long time.

He needs Hajime to know.

He wants him to know.

He's terrified to tell him, but-

He's only been thinking of the worst case - and that's not the right way to go about it at all.

When they're playing volleyball, he focuses on what's needed to be done to win - not on what might make them lose.

If he obsessed about what might happen if they failed, they would never have gotten as far as they did.

No - when Tooru stepped onto the field, he didn't think about losing. He thought about what winning would feel like - and then he lead his team to conquer.

Maybe the right question isn't  _ what if he's disgusted. _

Maybe it's  _ but what if he's not? _

Instantly, an image flashes up in Tooru's mind - and another, and another, and another - pouring in like he's opened some kind of mental flood gate.

Hajime, reaching over for a high five, to clap him on the back, to put his arm around Tooru's shoulders.

Hajime, letting Tooru drape his legs over his lap when they're sitting together, watching some stupid soap opera and making fun of the characters.

Hajime, lifting him out of his chair and chucking him down onto his bed with seemingly no effort at all, scolding him for staying up too late.

Hajime, in the door, holding up a bag of cherries with a grin on his face.

That smile he gets when he thinks Tooru's not watching, the one that's exasperated but fond and makes Tooru's insides fucking melt.

"Oikawa. Hey."

Hajime is waving his hand in front of Tooru's face, eyebrows raised incredulously.

"You're spacing out. Seriously, what's going on? You're kind of freaking me out here."

Well.

This is happening.

"…I need to talk to you," Tooru manages, taking a step back. Somehow he can't handle Hajime's intensity, and the concern in his gaze.

Christ, he needs to regroup or something.

"…okay?"

"Iwa- just give me a second," he says, distracted as he tries to find the right way to go about confessing his love to his goddamn best friend. "You're- you're freaking out and that's not helping."

"You're worrying me," Hajime says, but he's keeping his distance now.

Tooru covers his face with his hands, trying to just breathe before he accidentally starts screaming.

"Okay. Okay, listen. This- this is kind of a big deal, but- but it also doesn't have to be, if you don't want it to. God, did that even make sense? I'm- I don't know how to do this."

Hajime reaches out to him, but stops himself before he moves in too close and freaks Tooru out even more.

"Hey, hey. Breathe."

Tooru drops his hands, forcing out a breath. Hajime is still looking at him with all this  _ concern _ and fuck, Tooru wants to kiss him all over his dumb face.

"…whatever this is about," Hajime says, and Tooru looks up at him, because how can he help it, "you need to calm down. I promise I won't freak out, okay? You're clearly stressed about something. Just tell me. I've known you since you were in diapers, I promise you can trust me."

Tooru bites his lip because Hajime is literally perfect. What the fuck.

If anything, he deserves to know.

"…okay. So- I've had a crush on this guy. For like… literal years, okay?"

If Hajime is surprised that Tooru is gay, he doesn't show it. Then again, he might have suspected. Maybe.

"…okay," is all that he says, nodding.

"And I thought maybe I'd get over it, right? Because I don't know if he would, or could like me back. And- and I couldn't tell him because… because I didn't want to change how he saw me."

"…you're friends with him, then?"

Tooru nods. "Y-yeah. And he's… he's kind of really important to me."

Hajime is crossing his arms again. "Okay. So… what do you want to do about it?"

God, he's asking if Tooru wants his help.

Oh, god.

"I'm- I'm trying to tell him," Tooru manages, and Hajime frowns.

"So what's the problem?"

Tooru might laugh, or cry.

"He's- god, he's so- you're so fucking dense Iwa-chan I swear to god- what I'm saying is- I'm trying to tell you-"

He's pretty sure he's blushing as red as those goddamn cherries, but it's too late to go back.

"I fucking _ like you _ , Iwa-chan!"

And he has to get out of there,  _ now. _

Without thinking twice, he spins around and slams the door in Hajime's startled face, darting across the hall into his own room.

This was a really, really, really stupid idea. How did he think he could stand in front of Hajime, and say all of that to his face? What on earth possessed him to do that? To upset the careful balance they'd been living?

The entirety of his inner monologue is  _ holyshitholyshitholyshit - _ and then he hears Hajime  _ laughing. _

For a second, he's too startled to move. He's got his back against his own door, ready to hold it closed by force if Hajime tries to come inside and clarify - he's said too much already. But laughter? Not what he was expecting.

His mind races - why the fuck is he laughing? What's so fucking funny about the most embarrassing moment of Tooru's entire fucking life? Why the fuck can't he stop fucking swearing?

"Ohmygod, Oikawa-"

"SHUT UP," Tooru yells, before he can stop himself, because really, he's got to say something in his own defense, and Hajime is being so mean by  _ laughing- _

"Oikawa, open the door-"

"Stop LAUGHING!"

"I'm- ha- holy shit- Oikawa, please-"

He's  _ wheezing, _ choking, and Tooru wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

Hajime is knocking on his door, barely containing his laughter.

"Go away!"

Finally, he seems to catch his breath enough to speak.

"Come on- you can't just say all that and then run away!"

"Forget it!"

He raps the door again.

"No way! Shit, Oikawa- is this the first time you've ever confessed to someone? 'Cause you know, usually you wait for an answer…!"

"Stop fucking LAUGHING!"

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous-"

Suddenly, Tooru is angry.

"Oh yeah? So my feelings are ridiculous to you?"

"What? No! Oikawa, listen to me-"

"Why? So you can make fun of me?"

Hajime slams his fist into Tooru's door - definitely not a knock.

"No! You fucking moron, so I can answer you! You just told me you liked me, for crying out loud! Don't you wanna know my response?"

Tooru considers this for a second.

"…I think I'd rather die in here, right now."

Hajime sighs. "That'd be a shame though. I would've liked to see your face when I told you I feel the same."

Tooru is on his feet and yanking the door open so fast he almost falls back over.

"You what?!"

Hajime stares at him, taken aback and slightly breathless.

Admittedly, it's a good look on him.

He clears his throat, and he's already reaching up to rub the back of his neck in that adorable, bashful way of his.

"Well… yeah."

"…seriously?!"

Hajime licks his lips. "…yeah."

Tooru takes a breath.

"Why didn't you ever say anything, then?"

Hajime raises his eyebrows. "Why didn't you?"

"…point taken."

They stand there for a moment, neither of them sure what to say.

"…so."

"So."

"You- you like me."

"And you like me."

"Like…  _ like- _ like. Right?"

Hajime rolls his eyes.

"…yeah."

"…oh."

"Oh?"

"…well, what do you want me to say?!"

Tooru realizes he's being aggressive - defensive. Again.

"I mean- sorry. This is all a bit… confusing."

Hajime manages a small smile. "…yeah, I get that."

There's another terrible, awkward silence.

"So-"

"…maybe we should… sit down? Talk about this?"

Of course. That's a good idea. Of course Hajime would have a good idea.

"Uhm. Yeah. That sounds good."

Neither of them move.

Hajime lets out a small laugh, breaking the tension.

"Hey. I'm still me. This doesn't have to be so… uptight. We're still us, right?"

Tooru clenches and unclenches his fists. "…yeah. Yeah, you're right."

"Okay. C'mon - you didn't eat all the cherries, did you?"

He shakes his head, but doesn't follow when Hajime starts making his way to their living room.

"…Oikawa?"

Tooru looks at the floor.

"…did you- did you really mean it?"

He doesn't look up, but he sees Hajime step close to him, his socks near-silent on the wooden floor.

"Hey. Listen to me. Until you knocked on my door today, I thought I was gonna take this to the grave. You- you're always out and about and you only notice half of the people who are, like, enchanted by you on a daily basis. I don't think you realize how incredible you are - and I was sure it was only a matter of time before some girl snatched you up. I mean… not any girl, obviously, because you're picky and difficult and honestly a huge pain in the ass-"

Tooru huffs, fighting back tears, and Hajime smiles. "…but I was sure that I'd have to give you up one day. I didn't think about it too much, but… I was definitely afraid of it. But then… you said all that just now and… well. If you're giving me a shot at this, I'm taking it."

"…a shot at this?"

"…being with you. I mean, really being with you. Not just… this living-together thing."

Tooru considers this for a moment, and realizes his efforts to not cry were absolutely futile.

"You were never gonna tell me?"

"…I was sure you'd find someone who matched you, and you'd be happy. I… didn't see a reason to break that."

Tooru lets out a wet-sounding laugh. "Not even for you to be happy?"

Hajime is still smiling that sad little half-smile, like he does when he's saying something uncomfortable but true.

"I would have been. If you were."

Tooru wipes at his cheeks with his sleeve, knowing full well that he's still crying and it's really no use.

"…you must love me a lot more than I love you, Iwa-chan," he whispers. "I could never be that selfless. I… I was always afraid you'd leave me."

Hajime raises his eyebrows. "Leave you? I don't even know who I am without you, dumbass. You made sure of that."

"Iwa-chan."

"Yeah?"

"…Iwa-chan."

Hajime smiles, and Tooru wants to fucking die.

"What?"

"I love you."

A laugh, small and genuine.

"I love you, too."

"Really?"

"Really."

He'll probably never stop crying, because this can't be real.

"I love you," he says again. "I love you." Like a fucking broken record, because it's the only thing in his mind that makes sense.

"I love you, too."

"Promise?"

Yeah, he's fucking done for.

"Promise."

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know if you liked or hated this different style :'D It was an experiment!  
> Comments sustain my life force, seriously.
> 
> I'm on tumblr and kofi under the same name in case you wanna drop by~


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